Organo Motors: Home of the Biped-O-Sphere

ORGANO MOTORS:
Home of the Biped-O-sphere

written by

copyright 2008 P.L. Ellars


“Prosperity.” said the salesman, greeting the man and teenage boy as they entered the showroom of Organo Motors.
“Prosperity to you.” replied the man.
“And how may I be of service to you, Mr…?”
“Murkin. Harold Murkin, and this is my son, Little Harry; although he’s not so little anymore.”
“Indeed not! Prosperity, Little Harry.” replied the salesman.” “Thank you, sir, and prosperity to you, too.” Little Harry said. “My name is Michaux, Pierre Michaux.” the salesman went on.
“Well, Mr. Michaux, Little Harry and I are here to see about buying one of your Biped-O-spheres. Little Harry will be graduated from university this year, with honors, I might add, and his mother and I promised him some form of “wheels” if he did well. He has his heart set on one of your new Biped-O-spheres, but I must confess, I don’t know much about them. Little Harry has been online to your website for ages and has his Biped-O-sphere already configured.”
“Excellent! Not many people are familiar with our products, actually. It is really a very simple and ingenious means of ecologically friendly transportation. I’m surprised someone did not think of the concept ages ago. Most of the technology has been around for a long time. Like most great ideas, it just took someone to put it all together.”
“Well, then, Mr. Michaux, tell me about them.”
“All right, Mr. Murkin. Well, basically you choose the platform you want, either a solo or a single-passenger carrying platform where the passenger sits next to the driver. We also have a solo and a passenger carrying two-wheeled vehicle, just like a motorcycle. All of our platforms are made of carbon fiber, very strong and very light. Next, you decide on how much power you want. Our power units start at 90 days and go up in 15-day increments to a maximum of 180. We also have a beginners power unit that is rated at 75 days, and that is required by law for those that have absolutely no driving experience at all. After the beginning driver has acquired the mandatory three months of driving experience on the 75-day organic power unit Biped-O-sphere, it is a very simple matter of swapping out the 75-day power unit with any power unit of your choice. We have a buy-back program for the 75-day unit, providing, of course, it has not been abused, and that there is still some ‘life’ left in it. In fact, I would recommend that to you for Little Harry. You will save money on buying a ‘previously experienced’ power unit and can apply the savings and the buy-back amount towards the power unit you really want once you’ve met the requirements. You see, the Biped-O-sphere is a modular design. So when Little Harry completes his three-month learning period, he can go straight to any organic power unit he desires. You can mix-and-match different platform styles and different levels of power units. It really is a remarkable concept.”
“And how do the power units work? That’s the part Little Harry was trying to explain to me, but I just wasn’t getting it.”
“Well,” continued Mr. Michaux, “Our president and founder, Mr. Kirkpatrick MacMillan, from Drumfriesshire, Scotland, remembered experiments from his early science classes where the students attached electrical wires to dissected frog legs and, by applying an electrical charge, the students were able to make the muscles contract. He always thought that, one day, that might be turned into a source of power. Later, when science had perfected the cloning of human cells, he had the idea to put the two together in the form of the Biped-O-sphere. He experimented with trying to clone just the leg muscles of humans. That is where the different day designations come in. In the laboratory, he started growing muscles. Test tube muscles, if you will. At 75-days, the muscles were more than strong enough to power a bicycle; at 90 days, the muscles were as strong as a professional bicycle racers muscles. As he extended the growing time, the muscles grew larger and stronger. Mr. MacMillan, through experiments, determined that 15-day increments in growing time allowed for a noticeable increase in power developed. He stopped at 180-days, because beyond that, there is no noticeable difference in performance, just more fuel consumption. Which brings me to what the Biped-O-sphere runs on. It uses a scientifically blended water based solution of salts, sugars, liquid vegetable proteins and vitamins. It is called H2Otein, and is pumped through the organic power unit with a very small, battery powered pump. Through selective cell development, Mr. MacMillan was able to reproduce, in the laboratory, a modified version of the lower half of a human being without it actually being a human being. There is no need for a heart, brain, nerve cells, reproductive parts, or waste elimination systems, just two well–developed, very strong, laboratory designed muscles to power the Biped-O-sphere. The 90 through 135-day units consume approximately one pint of H2Otein per hour of normal use. Naturally, the larger the organic power unit, the higher the rate of consumption. For the higher powered units, 150-days and above, we recommend H2Otein Plus, which has higher levels of sugars, salts, vegetable protein and is oxygenated. I can tell you this has not made Mr. Macmillan and his Biped-O-Sphere popular with the oil producing countries and our own petroleum companies. Imagine, being able to make a fuel in your own kitchen, if you wanted to, that would propel a vehicle using nothing more complex than water, sugar and salt, and some vegetable protein. Once our product began to appear in scientific journals and neared production, Mr. MacMillan started receiving threats, and then a series of ‘close calls’, shall we say; any one of which could have been fatal.”
“That is absolutely amazing, Mr. Michaux. I had no idea that science had come so far.” Mr. Murkin said.
“Well, this is the 22nd Century, Mr. Murkin.” replied Mr. Michaux.
“I have to admit, though, that it seems a little, well, creepy to me to be using something you call an ‘organic power unit’ that is, in fact, a human being.”
“But, Mr. Murkin, it is not a human; not even close, only muscle. As I said, there are no nerve cells to pass on feeling or stimulation to a brain, because there is no brain to process pain or thought; and the unit has no reproductive organs. Have we not used animals throughout history as ‘organic power units’? We have ridden horses for centuries; strapped them onto carts, wagons, stagecoaches, mill wheels, any number of conveyances and machines, as well as mules, oxen, elephants, camels, llamas, ponies, even man’s best friend, the dog, has been harnessed in carts. The list goes on endlessly. Lots of creatures have had their power harnessed to serve man. Why, man himself has powered bicycles, rickshaws, pedi-cabs, and other assorted vehicles, on land, sea and air.” said Mr. Michaux.
“Yes, that’s all true, when you think about it. But, getting back to burning the fuel, the…what did you call it? H2Otein? What sort of waste or emissions does it produce? Since the Biped-O-sphere is organic and is running on a “fuel”, so to speak, doesn’t it produce any emissions or waste?”
“Perspiration, Mr. Murkin, nothing more than simple sweat, which evaporates into the atmosphere. Non-toxic and non-accumulating, so there is nothing to dispose of, ever. So, as you can see, it really is an environmentally friendly form of transportation.”
“Well, then, that brings up another question. If the organic power unit is perspiring, it must be running warm. How can you tell if it is overheating?”
“Yes, that’s true. Our organic power units do have an ideal operating temperature. The core temperature of the Biped-O-sphere’s organic power unit is monitored with the rectometer gauge.” said Mr. Michaux.
“The rectometer gauge?” repeated Mr. Murkin.
“Yes, the rectometer gauge on the dashboard, or nacelle, in the case of the motorcycle version, indicates the operating temperature of the organic power unit. Let’s say you have been operating at a sustained high speed, if the core temperature of the organic power unit starts to overheat, the needle on the rectometer gauge will start to go into the pink area. When that happens, you should slow down and let the unit cool, again, as indicated by the needle on the gauge. If you continue to overheat the power unit, the needle will continue on through the pink area and into the red. If this happens, you could cause serious damage to the organic power unit. A sudden cramp could have disastrous results. It could cause an accident. As long as you keep the needle on the rectometer gauge just outside the pink area, you will have no problems as all.”
“I see. Well, how do you drive it? I mean, gas, brakes, gears, etc. How does all that work?” asked Mr. Murkin
“The ‘gas’, as you call it, is a floor-mounted pedal that operates an electrical rheostat. The motorcycle uses the familiar twist grip. As you start to depress the accelerator pedal, or twist the grip, an electrical current flows to the organic power unit from a small battery initially, which also powers the lights, horn and stereo when you’re not moving. Once you are moving, a generator, located in the hub of the right, rear wheel takes over and provides the electrical current needed to drive the power unit. As you continue to depress the pedal, a larger current is sent to the power unit from the generator and you go faster. There is a single generator on models up to 135-days. On the higher-powered units, 150-days and up, two generators are provided, one in each of the rear wheel hubs, and on the motorcycle, one in each wheel. As for gears, the Biped-O-sphere has either a sporty six-speed manual, for those that like to shift; or an automatic, constant velocity transmission. To reverse the Biped-O-sphere, you simply flip this toggle switch on the dash, which reverses polarity to the power unit. Top speed with the 90-day unit is around 50 miles-per-hour. The higher units have top speeds that are impressive, indeed. The 150-day and 165-day organic power units can cruise all day at 75 miles-per-hour with short bursts to 90 miles-per-hour, useful for passing. Our top-of-the-line 180-day power unit will cruise at 85 miles-per hour all day long, top out at 100 mph and consume only 2 pints of H2Otein Plus per hour. Braking is by hydraulically operated, 5-inch stainless-steel rotors, drilled for lightness, mounted on narrow 20-inch carbon fiber spoke wheels.”
“Well, Mr. Michaux, I’m impressed! I had no idea you could get that kind of performance out of an organic power unit.”
“Oh, yes.” said Mr. Michaux. “Of course, keeping the weight down is critical, less is more, as they say. Mr. MacMillan and his team are currently experimenting with blending cells from various animals; lions, tigers, cheetahs, horses, bears, gorillas, etc. to produce more power in a smaller unit, and they are having encouraging success. But what is more important is the aerodynamic design of our vehicles. The slipperier the vehicle, the less power it takes to achieve high speeds, and as you can see, our Biped-O-spheres are low to the ground, very sleek and have an extremely low drag coefficient, something in the neighborhood of .10. Once Mr. MacMillan has perfected his next generation of smaller, more powerful units, acceleration and top speeds will go up dramatically and fuel consumption will go down. We are very excited about the future here at Organo Motors. Mr. MacMillan, to promote the performance aspect of the Biped-O-sphere, has sponsored a local boy, “Flash” Harte, to put on exhibition drag races using experimental 195-day power units. “Flash” is running a drag racer that uses three of these experimental units and is achieving 0-60 miles-per-hour times of just under 5 seconds and quarter-mile sprints of 120 plus miles-per-hour in the 11-second range. Very impressive performance, indeed, for organic power units running on standard H20tein Plus. They achieved even more spectacular results by running the power units on H20tein Plus that had been modified with caffeine and 20 per-cent alcohol. Unfortunately, after two or three runs with this fuel, the power units developed what we call “the staggers”.
“Well, good luck to “Flash” Harte. Little Harry, I suppose you knew all of this already?” Mr. Murkin asked his son. “Of course, Dad, I’ve been dreaming about this for months. Let’s go ahead and get the order going. I’ve got my color scheme already picked out. I hope they have it in stock.” Little Harry said anxiously.
“OK, Mr. Michaux, we’re sold. Little Harry said he has a color scheme picked out already. Do these come in many colors?” asked Mr. Murkin.
“Oh, yes sir, although the word ‘color’ doesn’t quite describe it.”
“Oh, what do you mean?” asked Mr. Murkin with a puzzled look on his face.
“Well, these are ‘organic’ power units, and therefore, not painted, although the platform can be color-matched to the power unit. I think it will become clear to you, Mr. Murkin, as Little Harry fills out the order form.” replied Mr. Michaux.
“Yeah, Dad, it’s going to look cool. I’ve configured it on my computer hundreds of times. I want the platform to be two-tone with the bottom half Negro and the top Asian, and for the interior, I want Caucasian seats and dash with Negro piping and carpets.” Little Harry said, practically jumping up and down.
“I don’t know if you are aware of our latest feature, Little Harry,” Mr. Michaux said, “but you can now have your organic power unit personalized with tattoos. Order the power unit in Caucasian, Asian, Navajo, or Octoroon, it makes for a better blank canvas, and our in-house artists will apply whatever design you want, or you can take the unit to your own artist and have the work done there. Of course, depending on what you have done, it could affect resale value when it comes time to sell. As you know, most tattoos are a personal statement that may not have the same meaning or significance to the next owner.”
“Yeah? That is new, I didn’t know about that. Wow, that’s really cool! Then I want the power unit in the same Asian as the top of the platform. This is going to look so cool! I have some friends that can do the tats for me.” Little Harry said excitedly.
“OK, Little Harry, but you’re going to have to pay for the tattoos. Your mother and I said we would get you the wheels, but you know how she feels about tattoos.” Mr. Murkin put in.
“Yeah, Dad, no problem. Like I said, I’ve got friends that will do them for me. This is going to be so cool! I can’t wait to get started. I’m going to have to start thinking of what designs I want. I’ve got three months of using the 75-day unit, anyway. Can we go ahead and buy the replacement power unit, Dad?” Little Harry continued. “That way my friends can be working on it and when the three months are up, it’ll be ready and Mr. Michaux can have it installed.”
“Sure, son. That sounds like a good plan. You’ve worked hard for this and I’m glad to see you excited.” his father said. “Great, Dad! I was thinking the 165-day organic power unit would be…”
“Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! No. We are not starting off with a Hot Ped! Your mother would kill me and she’d never let you near it! We will get the 105-day unit, though. I think you’re responsible enough to have a little more oomph than the basic unit. Later, if you feel you need more… well, we’ll talk about it then.”
“But, Dad…” Little Harry pleaded.
“No. Sorry, sport, but that’s the decision for now.” Mr. Murkin said firmly.
“Oh, OK. You’re right. The 105-day unit will be enough for now. Thanks, Dad. I was getting carried away. I guess I inherited your horsepower loving genes.”
“Well, Mr. Michaux, what next?” asked Mr. Murkin.
“We will have to order the Biped-O-sphere in the color scheme that Little Harry has configured, but that will only take three days. Not long at all, although to a young man getting his first set of “wheels”, it will seem an eternity.” replied Mr. Michaux. “Shall we go into my office, Mr. Murkin, finalize the paperwork and how you wish to pay for it?” asked Mr. Michaux.
“Yes, with all this information you’ve been giving me, Mr. Michaux, I never thought to ask what all this is going to cost.” said Mr. Murkin as the three of them entered Mr. Michaux’s office.
“Actually, I think you will be surprised at how little it will be.” said Mr. Michaux, indicating two chairs for Mr. Murkin and Little Harry to sit in. “The price has been coming down over the past year due to Mr. MacMillan’s desire to price the Biped-O-sphere aggressively which is possible now that initial R&D costs have been recovered. These vehicles are becoming very, very popular. Mr. MacMillan is able to fund future development from sales alone. So, let’s see, you have the basic passenger carrying platform, and you want the 105-day organic power unit in Asian for future installation. The only additional charge would be Globals 375 for the two-tone color matching on the platform. Your total price, out-the-door, is Globals 11,875. Of course, when, in three months you turn in the 75-day unit under our buy back program, you will receive around Globals 900 back, depending on its condition, of course.” said Mr. Michaux.
“Excellent.” said Mr. Murkin. “Well, Little Harry, are you satisfied? Have we forgotten anything?”
“No, Dad. I think that’s it. Gosh, this is so exciting. I can’t wait to tell the guys. I’m going to show them my configured Biped-O-sphere on the computer as soon as we get back home. This is too cool! Man, three days is going to seem like three years!” Little Harry mourned.
“Well, it will be over before you know it, son. Thank you, Mr. Michaux, I guess we’re done here. Will you call me, please, when Little Harry’s Biped-O-sphere is ready? We’ll be back and pick it up then.” said Mr. Murkin.
“Of course, Mr. Murkin, and congratulations to you and Little Harry. I know you will both be very happy with your new purchase. Until later, Mr. Murkin, prosperity.”
“Prosperity to you, Mr. Michaux, and thanks.” said Mr. Murkin.
“Prosperity, Little Harry.” said Mr. Michaux.
“Yes, thank you for everything, Mr. Michaux. Prosperity.”
And with that, father and son happily exited the showroom of Organo Motors: Home of the Biped-O-sphere.



AN ADDENDUM FROM THE PUBLISHER:

Dear Reader, it is with much sadness that we regret to inform you that the author of the above piece, Mr. Paul L. Ellars, was assassinated three days after publication of this story. The assassins, hired by members of a certain “royal family” and their cohorts in the oil industry in this country, were caught and have confessed all. We extend our heartfelt condolences to Mr. Ellars’ loving wife and family. Sincerely, The Publishers.